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by Listae
Summary: What is more powerful - free choice or fate? Can anyone really choose someone else apart from their soulmates? Is there truly such thing as soulmate? Pairing - AC/JH, EC/AC, EC/BS and possibly more. This is not a SLASH story, but there are enough mentions of i to post a warning!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Guys! Lately I've been feeling oddly creative, so I decided to return to some of my long forgotten work. I've done some re-writes, fine-tunnings, etc., to make it a bit more... Well to match it to what I have in my head :)**

**I also must put in the WARNING: this is not a slash story, but there will be "slashy" bits. Nothing graphic, mind you and definitely not in this chapter. I will put the warning in front of the chapter that contains it though, so you're safe :)**

**All in all, I think there are just not enough Alice/Edward stories, so I want to finish this one up, simply to have it done!**

**As always - I don't own Twilight, it's Stephenie Meyer's.**

**General warnings: language.**

**That's it, enjoy and let' me know what you think!**

**L.**

The figure appeared in the middle of the meadow as clouds moved revealing the moon. The moonlight could not penetrate the woods, but it showed small meadow, which was almost magically beautiful even in the dark. Long, black shadows entwined and trembled in the light breeze as if dancing in the dim light of the moonlit night. The stillness of the figure was so absolute that it seemed everything was moving around it – as if it was the motionless core of the meadow.

The figure was the statue of abnormally handsome young man. It was standing alone, its face stern and its dark eyes impenetrable. The features of this young face were perfect, yet the expression was of the man who had weight too heavy put on his shoulders.

Suddenly, perfect lips moved and low voice spoke the words that matched neither his expression nor the voice itself.

"What the hell do you want, Alice?"

The sound of his voice was odd to the extent it could almost be called inhuman. It was as beautiful as everything else about this man, but at the same time behind smooth silkiness of it, the timbre of the voice was almost glass like. It didn't remind the screeching of glass but rather as if shards of glass or maybe crystals were brushing against each other softly, distantly.

His body moved to face the forest behind him and he froze again. His stillness was unnatural – he did not stir, nor shift, not even blink. His skin was pale, too pale even for moonlight and deep, bruiselike shadows were visible beneath the eyes. These shadows and the paleness would distort any features, but oddly enough they only emphasized his beauty.

A moment later sounds of forest were silenced by another voice. This voice was higher than the man's but it also had glassy sound about it - it reminded silent ringing of a glass bell.

"I had a vision," the voice said and a young woman stepped out of the woods.

She was petite, barely five feet tall. Despite this she was also oddly similar to the tall man in the meadow – her skin was as pale as his and she had the same shadows under her eyes. The similarity went beyond the features, bone deep although at the same time they were very different.

"I know, I've seen it. So?" the man answered in a bored tone. His expression remained impassive, but the flicker in his eyes betrayed the traces of unease.

"She'll fall in love with that boy," the girl stated simply.

"And why on earth should this matter to me?"

"Edward, you still can do something about it," she replied softly. The way she said his name was almost a caress and the man in front of her stiffened slightly before replying.

"I don't want to. She's fucking plain human girl with no taste, seeing what she's interested in," a small cynical smile appeared on his face.

"She doesn't have to be human."

"Right, that's exactly what I need – a ball and chain for eternity," he sniggered but even expression of sheer distaste didn't distort his handsome features.

"If it was me, I'd fight."

"Would you really?" he asked silently. His voice was saturated with something she could not understand. He was sad, but he was always sad, yet this was something else. He looked at her and in the same silent, strange, even frightening voice he asked the question he knew the answer to - "Have you ever lost someone?"

"Have you?" she asked in return as he turned to face the meadow.

"How's Jasper?"

Alice knew Edward too well to return to the subject. So instead she did what she knew the best, she changed it altogether to make him feel better.

"He's alright. You know, we tried…"

Edward knew what she was referring to. For the past several months Jasper had been thinking about trying something new. By 'new' he actually meant trying having sex with a man. He was even considering Edward as an option, given that they knew about his previous endeavors with Demetri… Edward, however, was absolutely not interested in Jasper, even though Jasper was very attractive and undoubtedly sexy man. When Jasper proposed a threesome to Alice, she was surprised at first, but soon started thinking this would indeed be interesting. They came to Edward one night and although he knew what they would be proposing, he still hoped they wouldn't.

"You did? Threesome, really?" he wondered.

"Well, not technically a threesome, foursome."

"Ah… And who were the lucky ones?"

"James and Victoria."

"James? I would have never thought… And?" he smiled. James and Victoria was a couple of traditional vampires who sometimes visited the Cullen family. James' interests in, for the lack of better word, people solely depended on the amount of chase he'd get trying to get to them, so it was rather strange that James was interested in a voluntary foursome. Then again, perhaps he was prone to underestimate Jasper.

"And it was… Interesting. Would've been better with you." – She winked at him.

"No doubts. Would have liked to see you with Victoria, though…" – he laughed and hurried to stop himself from going down that road.

This was exactly why he loved her so much. Alice was only person in whole world who could make him laugh even in the worst of his moods. This tiny, beautiful girl was the reason he stayed with all of them for so unbelievably long. It did not mean that Edward did not care about the rest of his family; he would die for all of them, but love… Well, he only loved Alice and rest he liked and respected enough to be able to stay. They all were so natural and truthful to what they were that it was impossible not to respect them. Esme, who had lost her child, was a mother to them all. She never forced it on any of them and was a mother they all ever needed. She never pretended to care, she honestly and truly loved them unconditionally and Edward was the best prove of it. Carlisle's compassion was admirable. He truly cared for every living soul – humans, animals, even vampires, although Edward was not sure they could be called "living soul". Rosalie was vain and shallow. She enjoyed it and although she was actually a smart girl, she intentionally made being beautiful the core of her existence. Edward had to admit she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and since she was happy about it and refused pretending she did not know how beautiful she was, Edward had to admire that. Emmet was all very, almost extremely simple. He never wanted nor needed to be considered bright, but he was ridiculously honest and decent. He never thought anything he couldn't say aloud and he could never even lie. It was easy to be around him and Edward enjoyed the fact he could read his mind without Emmet being unhappy or embarrassed about it. This was why he usually concentrated on him rather than anyone else. And Jasper… Well, Jasper was the one who struggled the most. It was unbearably difficult not to attack humans for him and he only did it because of his love to Alice. Edward had to admit this kind of love was what he himself wished for her – the only person he ever loved.

"You could have, but you refused, remember?" – She asked smiling, remembering that night as vividly as if it had happened yesterday.

"Well, I haven't ruled that out yet…"

"Well, we haven't either…" – She chuckled and Edward laughed loudly.

"You know I was thinking that Jasper probably is interested in you because of how I feel about you."

"So you don't think he might be interested because of who I am? Devil, you're hurting my feelings…" – He whined mockingly, but then became serious again. – "Is it really so impossible to want me?"

"I think I might not be the one to be asked this question… I wanted you from the first time I saw you in my vision. I want you still."

"You chose Jasper, remember?" – He asked bitterly.

"I wasn't given an option and you know it better than I." – She replied calmly and allowed her thoughts drift to the day they met, taking Edward with her.

1952

Carlisle had sensed the approach of a vampire before any of them and all five of them were sitting in the living room, waiting. If any human was to see the sight of them, he'd be disturbed to the core. They were all so inhumanly beautiful and being together intensified their beauty even further. However while they were sitting and waiting, anyone would have thought he entered the room full of astonishing statues rather than people. They did not move; they made no sound; they didn't even breathe in their concentration. Finally the door opened and a girl entered the room. Edward stared at her as the rest of them, but he was the one to think that this girl was far more exciting and interesting than Rosalie. Rosalie was more beautiful in obvious kind of way, but this tiny creature was fascinating in the way Edward could not yet describe. He stared at her feeling his world freeze for a moment giving him time to just look at this creature. He was so amazed and shocked that it took him couple of seconds to focus on the oddest feature of the girl – her eyes. Her were golden like his own. He had never met any vampire apart his family whose eyes were golden and not crimson. She was beautiful, interesting, exciting and mysterious. And as soon as this registered in his dumbfounded mind he hated it all immediately.

"Hello, Carlisle." – She greeted in high singing voice, which Edward thought was too damn beautifully annoying. She smiled at them all and greeted them by their names, finishing with Edward.

"Who, the fuck, are you?" – Edward asked before any of them could speak. He sensed Carlisle looking at him disapprovingly.

The girl simply smiled.

"My name is Alice." – She chirped. – "I came to stay with you all."

Edward raised his eyebrows and sneered.

"Did you now?"

"Edward!" – Carlisle interjected and turned to the girl. – "Why don't you tell us everything?"

"There's not really that much to tell. I don't remember anything before last year, when I woke up in the middle of the woods in Maine. I was wondering around in woods thirsty to the extreme when I saw the herd of deer. From then on I've been living there and feeding on them as I could not bring myself to hunt a human. Last Tuesday, however, I saw a vision of Edward. Few more visions later I knew I'd be living here. Now, can anyone tell me where my room is?" – She smiled at the all. Rosalie and Emmet were looking at her cautiously, Esme couldn't suppress her curiosity mingled with concern and Carlisle's look was welcoming, open and curious. Only Edward was glaring at her angrily.

"Don't you know?" – Edward sneered. – "You seem to know everything."

"I know, but you'll overreact if I tell you it's your room…"

"You're insane if you think I'll let you have my room, tiny one!" – He growled.

"Tiny devil," – Alice corrected, - "this is how you'll be calling me soon."

Edward glared at her wishing to hate her. Instead he felt irresistible urge to laugh. His loud laughter echoed through the house startling everyone except Alice, who kept smiling joyfully. His entire family turned to him. They barely ever heard Edward laugh – he only laughed angrily if he heard something in their thoughts he was not supposed to know. Yet now he laughed freely, happily. They all gaped even more when he came to Alice and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Come, devil, I'll show you around." – He mused and led her upstairs.

'Can it be? Can she be the one for him?' – Carlisle thought.

"No!" – He heard Edward's angry voice from upstairs and then Alice's laughter.

"Were they thinking if I was your mate?" – She asked and as he nodded, continued. – "You're right, I'm not. In a year or so another vampire will join our family, He's name's Jasper and he doesn't know about us yet…"

"And he'll be your mate?" – Edward asked. He never believed in such thing as mate or any of that 'meant to be' crap, but he had met many of the ones, who did, including his entire family.

"Yes." – She replied simply.

"I think I'm going to like you." – Edward grinned and Alice laughed.

"I think you already do."

"Don't push it." – He finally opened the door, revealing a large and bright room. – "This is my room."

"My room." – She corrected and Edward growled.

"Your room then." – He said and heard gasps from Carlisle and Esme in the living room. – "You'll have to help me prepare a room for me, though. And then move my stuff."

Alice chuckled.

"I will help you decorate, but I wouldn't rush with your stuff…"

Edward raised his eyebrows, but decided against commenting.

"Where are your things?" – He asked.

"I left everything at the train station. Do you want to come with me and take it?" – She asked smiling innocently.

"No." – He growled.

"But you anyway will?"

"Yes."

From that day Edward spent almost all the time with Alice. They went to the school together, they hunted together, and they prepared the room in the basement for him together. She even managed to drag him along for shopping; refusing his suggestions to take Rosalie instead, which then resulted in Rosalie's bitterness towards Alice. This was unusual for Edward – he generally liked to stay alone and only returned to the house from time to time. For following two weeks he only left to be alone for few hours every two days. Alice knew when it was time to leave Edward alone and even encouraged him to go. She spent this little time she had with the rest of the family – getting to know them, telling stories about herself and Jasper, who she hadn't even met yet. Esme and Carlisle were the first ones to accept Alice. She knew it was more to do with the way Edward seemed happier around her, but she was fine with that. After all, they would be family soon enough. Emmet liked Alice from the start and she only really had difficulties with Rosalie. Alice knew it would take time for Rose to get used to her and did not push her much.

Two weeks later Edward took Alice to the theatre to watch Hamlet, one of his favorite plays. After the show they went hunting to the woods near by.

"Devil!" – She heard him call her as she was finishing her deer.

"Almost done, coming!" – She replied. When she went to him, she found him sitting on the fallen tree trunk, waiting for her.

"Come, sit." – He said quietly and she obeyed.

"Do you know what I want to talk to you about?" – He asked.

"No, I wasn't looking." – She replied. – "But I do have an idea."

"Alright then, I won't have to make a fool of myself." – He grinned and then instead of saying anything else simply kissed her full on the mouth, pulling her into his lap. Alice wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss, sinking into it.

'I think it's time for you to come back to your room…' – She thought and Edward chuckled lightly into her mouth before pulling back a little.

"I think it is."

They came back to the house later that night and Alice led him holding his hand tightly back to their room, which they shared from then on.

As months passed they remained inseparable. The only thing that changed was that they drove entire house insane by having sex constantly. This was one of the things Edward himself hated before – he could always hear both Carlisle and Esme and Emmet and Rosalie having sex. It was impossible for the vampires not to hear so this time he did not feel bad at all and allowed himself be as loud as he wanted to. Other than that, they talked about almost everything – their past, their hopes, their dreams. The only thing they never talked about was their future. They both knew this relationship had no future and was destined to last until Jasper comes, but they never spoke of it anyway. Edward thought that Jasper was the reason why he got himself involved – knowing it couldn't last and will end soon enough made it worth having. There were no promises, no declarations of eternal love – all they had was there and then and they both tried to get everything of it. A month after Edward returned to his room, he knew he loved Alice. For the first time in his already long life, he truly loved someone. He never told her this, he hated being sentimental, but he was sure Alice knew it and deliberately did not make him say it, which made him love her more.

One night, approximately a year later, Edward returned home after ordering Alice her first car, she wanted so much. When entering the house he sensed something was wrong. He ran to his room to find Alice sitting on the bed in the dark room. She did not light the lights, but he could still see she was sad. And that all his belongings were packed. He sighed.

"He's coming?" – He asked silently and she nodded. – "Good, I was not sure how much longer I can endure."

Alice smiled at him sadly, came closer, hugged him tightly and kissed him.

"I will miss you too, Edward." – She finally whispered resting her head on his shoulder.

"Don't get all sappy on me, devil. Your mate's coming, remember?" – He forced a smile, although deep down he knew this was going to hurt eventually.

"It hurts anyway." – She said as if she had read his mind. – "Edward, promise me you'll come back, please…"

"You see me leaving?" – He chuckled darkly. – "I'm not surprised. I always knew I'd leave as soon as he comes – don't want to witness your happiness, at least for a while, until fuck-at-any-chance phase passes."

"It doesn't have to be that way." – Alice whispered softly.

"Yes, it does." – He cut her off and she nodded feeling her heart break.

"Alice, don't you fucking dare feel bad about this!" – He growled. – "This is what you wanted and we both knew it from the start! For fuck's sake! I will not be the one hurting you, you hear me?!" – He lifted her from the ground, kissing her fiercely, and laid her on the bed. Suddenly she rolled over and Edward was now laying beneath her.

"I will only say it once, Edward, so listen. This year was the happiest in my life and not once did you hurt me. I love you immensely and damn it, I know you love me too! If you gave me a choice, I would keep loving you, mate or not. But we both know you won't and we knew it from the start. So no, you're not hurting me, this is just the way you love and I accept it. I accepted you from the start as you accepted me. So now please, just shut up and make love to me…" – She paused as Edward raised his eyebrows. – "Yes, Edward, make love to me – not fuck me, not have sex with me! Make love to me and then we'll part." – She finished with a silent sob.

Edward rolled her over again and kissed her softly.

"Now you listen to me, tiny devil. We will never part. I will always be around, whenever you need me, I'll come. Alice, devil… I…" – He halted and she smiled.

"I know, you don't have to say. I love you, too." – She kissed him.

"And this is why… Now, promise me you'll look for me if I'm needed."

"Edward, you're needed all the time. I don't want you to go."

"I have to. It's better that way – if I stay, you'll be sacrificing the time you should be spending with Jasper to check on me. I'm going to be fine; I just need some time to get used to this and you need your time with your mate. Just until all the fucking gets under control." – He smiled trying to look convincingly. – "Right, I believe there's love making we need to attend to, before I go?"

Alice laughed.

"I believe there is…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's an updated version of chapter 2.**

**General warnings stand: language.**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

**L.**

2012

"It was really amazing night." – Edward said after a while.

"And you left before the dawn…"

"Yeah, well, love making was a bit extreme for me." – He mocked and Alice chuckled. She knew him too well to be offended.

"Anyway, we got a bit sidetracked. I came here to talk about that girl after all." – She reminded him.

"Aren't we done talking about her?" – He asked frowning.

"No, we're not. Edward, listen, I have never seen you interested in anyone that much. Why don't you try? Have you ever at least spoken to her?"

"I might've said hello once… And 'What the fuck do you want?' couple of times…" – He grinned.

"Oh Edward…"

"Listen, devil, firstly is not your business and secondly I don't give a damn about her!" – He closed his eyes and sighed. – "I don't give a damn about anything, really…"

His thoughts returned to the day over a year ago. The day when he first met this girl, who kept taunting him in his hidden thoughts ever since.

2011

They came to that impossibly irritating school to find the entire herd of schoolchildren excited.

"What the fuck is up with them?" – Edward growled under his breath.

"New girl." – Alice replied at once.

"I wish I could throw up." – He hissed and Rosalie nodded in agreement.

Edward's eyes wondered through the crowd and the waves of hatred rushed though him. He honestly hated humans with their petty problems, petty interests and petty lives. It was ironic, really, that he was a so-called vegetarian, since he truly wanted to kill them all from time to time. His reasons for not hunting humans were very different from the noble ones of Carlisle's. Carlisle valued the life more than anything and this did not allow him to become a monster. Edward on another hand hated the fact that he had been made a vampire. He never asked for it and it was decided without him by his mother and Carlisle. He couldn't hate Carlisle, because he understood his reasons and knew his intentions were pure. He hated himself, what he had become instead and as the time passed he started hating humans, who had what he so desperately wished for, and yet did not value it. They had lives; they had possibility to grow old, to have children, to die peacefully. Edward deliberately distanced himself from everyone, not allowing anyone to become too close to him, not allowing himself to grow attached to anyone. Alice was the only exception to this and he intended to keep it that way. Even Demetri… Well, he could never have allowed Demetri to become something in his life, not after Alice. As for humans – drinking human blood was too intimate for Edward. He could not allow their blood inside him; he couldn't stand reading their minds as he approached – fear, desire, horror, admiration, lust… It made him ache and from the first time he almost killed a human he knew he'd never do it. It was just too much. He had known nomads, who never considered humans to be more than a food, but Edward could read their minds and he could not bring himself to do it. Their lives flowing in his veins; their thoughts echoing in his head. Too intimate... This did not however prevent him from hating them – herd of faceless, unimportant, ignorant fools.

'Edward!' – he heard Alice's voice in his head. He turned his eyes towards her and turned away again. Every time she spoke to him like this, she wanted to hide something from Jasper and in time they learnt communicating without anyone noticing it.

'Is he alright?' – she asked worriedly. – 'He hasn't been hunting for two weeks now and I think he's struggling. Do you think he'll manage through the day?'

Edward concentrated on Jasper. He was in pain again, but it was still endurable. He inclined his head slightly and heard her thanking him.

'I need to take him hunt tonight…'

Edward strode off without another word.

All day long, no matter how much he tried to ignore them, he kept hearing about this new girl, who hated being called by her name. He checked what all the fuss was about and was as always utterly disappointed. Just a plain human girl, not even attractive; faceless as the rest of them. During lunch he saw her himself for the first time and knew instantly she was nothing of an interest to him. That is until he tried to hear what was she thinking and somehow heard nothing at all. He glared at her astonished. How was this possible? It was as if her mind was completely empty, nothing got through. Even people with severe mental illnesses were audible – they were difficult to understand, impossible sometimes, but still audible. Yet this girl was completely blank. Edward had to admit he was intrigued and decided to try again later, when they were not surrounded by so many people. This opportunity presented itself a class later as Edward was sitting in biology class. Isabella, or Bella, the name preferred by her, came into the class and Edward knew she'd have to sit by him – the only empty seat left. He watched her approach, frowning slightly as he still couldn't hear her. Suddenly he was struck by the scent coming from that girl. It was… Well, it was like nothing he had felt before. Tempting, seductive, utterly delicious… Edward could almost hear the most beautiful melody in his head. Her scent played to him – the variations of heartbreaking jazz shifting to melancholic blues. Edward held his breath and closed his eyes. The last notes of the striking melody echoed in his head. He wanted that faceless girl! He needed her – her scent, her blood, her melody… He finally opened his eyes and glared at her, watching her friendly smile fade.

'This is not going to happen!' – He thought, waves of barely controlled anger rushing through him. 'What the fuck?! I will not allow this scent to take over! It will never take away my right to choose who I want or detest!'

As soon as confused girl sat down, he turned his face away from her and clutched his fists tightly under the table. The scent was killing him, the waves of desire mixed with anger rushed through him and it took all the self control he had not to breathe, no tot allow himself get lost in the melody. He felt so full of her scent, so overwhelmed by it, shocked to the core. All he wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible, yet he kept rooted to the spot, just to feel her, feel it for a little while longer. It was irritating and frustrating, but at the same time he felt somewhat warmer from within. As soon as this thought hit him, he stood up unexpectedly to entire class and strode off telling the teacher he had to leave. He ignored his questions and shouts and simply went back to his car and drove home.

Once at home, still fuming he went to his piano and sat there silently for a minute, ignoring Esme's concerned questions of what happened. Few minutes later he opened the piano, closed his eyes and started playing, not noticing startled Esme, not seeing anything else in the world apart from this strange girl. Esme stared at him in disbelief. Edward last played the piano at home when he was still with Alice, before Jasper came. From then, he never, not once played anything for them. She had seen loads of notes with songs and music in his room, but he refused to play ever since. Esme loved Edward playing. When he got lost in the music, he'd become completely different person. His voice was low and silky; his expression was peaceful, almost happy. He looked so calm, so content – completely different from bitter and sarcastic man he usually was. It looked as if he was living the music, as if every note and every word flew through him, out of him, with him.

When a minute later Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet burst into the house he was already singing in his smooth, silky voice. The piano sounds twined with his voice creating a heartbreaking melody, which made the entire family freeze at once.

I was empty, I was soulless

Lost in black and white

I was vacant, I was hollow

Running through the night

I had no heart, I had no feelings

Alone in endless night

There was no reason to keep living

Until I saw my light

You are my melody that keeps me moving on

My reason and my treasure to manage till the dawn

And every note you play for me is magically right

No longer will I be alone through my forever night

You broke my bounds, you shook my walls

Defeated now I am

I have no choice, I have no rights

And I don't give a damn

I'm yours from now, I'm yours forever

I give myself away

I'll never tell, you won't know, ever

This is my only way

You are my melody that keeps me moving on

My reason and my treasure to manage till the dawn

And every note you play for me is magically right

No longer will I be alone through my forever night

I'll never tell, you won't know, ever

This is my only way

This is my only way

This is my only way

As soon as the song ended he stood up and opened his eyes.

"Edward, please don't!" – Alice pleaded at once.

"She means 'please don't leave' if you're interested, because this is exactly what I'm planning to do." – He explained to his family and looked Alice in the eye. – "Devil, you can only ask me to stay if you really need me. There's no need as far as I can see and it is really necessary for me to go."

"Edward, what happened, why are you leaving?" – Esme asked silently. It hurt to see him leave, yet he left again and again. He was the one to stay away the most, although he did return from time to time. Esme, as the rest of them, knew he only returned for Alice. When he missed her enough or when she asked him to come back, he'd return and stay for couple of years. He only returned a year ago and to Esme it was just too soon.

"I need some distance. I will not leave for long this time." – He smiled at Esme and turned to Alice. – "Devil, let me go. I'll come back when you need me."

Alice sobbed and hugged him tightly.

"I need to know why. I need you to talk to me, to explain." – She was almost begging now.

"No." – He replied firmly. – "I'm not going to talk about any of this and that's it."

"Edward, please… help me understand. I need to understand!"

"Alice, this is the end of this discussion. I am not saying anything, so for fuck's sake just leave me alone!"

Jasper stepped forward, shielding Alice.

"You can't speak to her like that!" – He growled and then flinched sensing Edward's anger peak.

"Who, the fuck, do you think you are to tell me how to speak to her?" – He asked silently. This silent, almost calm voice was the most dangerous of all and they all felt he was about to attack. His body was slightly inclined forwards, his eyes glittered.

Alice pushed Jasper aside and flung her arms around Edward's neck.

"Edward, please, it's ok… You don't have to tell anything… Please, calm down, it's ok…" – She whispered soothingly, holding him tightly. – "Please… Edward, I'm begging you, please…"

Edward felt his tensed body relax a little as he looked into Alice's pleading eyes.

"Never beg, devil…" – He whispered hugging her and closing his eyes. – "I'm sorry."

"Don't… It's ok; I shouldn't have pushed you so much…"

"Alice, you haven't done anything wrong and Edward needs to finally learn how to control his temper!" – Jasper interrupted angrily and Alice shot him a disapproving look.

"Jasper," – Edward's silky voice replied, - "why don't you shut the fuck up and let me talk to Alice?"

"You both stop it right now!" – Alice yelled. – "Jasper, I'll speak to you soon, but now I need to talk to Edward. You," – she turned to smirking Edward, - "out. We're going to talk and I'm sure you want to do so alone. Let's go."

"You should get a whip." – Edward grinned as Alice dragged him outside. – "I like it when you get all bossy, I imagine you in leather and with a whip…" – He continued, smirking at Jasper's angry growl echoing from the house.

"Why do you do this to him?" – Alice asked quietly, once they finally reached the meadow and she was sure they couldn't be heard. – "You know he's jealous…"

"I know, I can read minds, remember?" – Edward replied bitterly sitting down.

"Then why?"

"Because I can. And because he irritates me." – He sighed. – "I know it's childish, but… Look, devil, I will not allow anyone tell me how to treat you. You are the only one I ever let in my life and I'd do anything you ask me to. He has no right to question it, whether or not he's jealous, whether or not he wants you to love him more, whether or not he wants you to stop loving me."

"He knows you'll always be important to me."

"Well, doesn't he know you are important to me?"

"He does. It's just… Well, he loves me and he's protective, that's it."

"There's no need to protect you from me. I will not hurt you."

"I know." – She nodded and attempted to sit down beside him, but Edward pulled her into his lap.

"Wouldn't want you to ruin your precious clothes." – He grinned and she smiled as Edward hugged her tighter and start playing with her hair. – "You know I'm sorry I snapped at you?"

"I know and I'm not mad. I just wanted to know what happened. I worry about you, always. You haven't played at home for so long… Last time you played the song you wrote for me, remember? And now all of the sudden I have a vision of you leaving again and even without a goodbye to me. I ran like I never ran before, just to catch you and I find you playing that song… It was heartbreaking, absolutely astonishing… You said so much with it, yet I don't understand who it was for."

"I don't want to talk about that. Besides, I play for you, sometimes." – He replied, remembering how sometimes they get out of the house to random hotels, how he plays her song after she greets him returning home.

"Don't leave me." – She murmured slowly.

Edward sighed heavily.

"Alright, I'll stay. But you better know I hate when you make me do something I don't want. You owe me." – He grunted and Alice smiled innocently.

"Do you think if I expressed just how grateful and happy I am you'd feel better?" – She asked smiling slightly and he grinned, suspecting what she had up her sleeve.

"It depends…"

"On?"

"On just how grateful you are…"

Alice shifted on his lap and sat facing him, her legs round his waist.

'Very… very… grateful…' – she thought leaning in and kissing him softly. She felt Edward smile a little before he suddenly moved, pinning her to the ground, all thoughts of clothes gone, kissing her deeply. She moaned silently as his lips slid down her throat and his hands caressed her legs and hips.

"Naughty, tiny, devil…" – He mused and slid his hand under her jacket. – "You think love making session is on the way?"

"I can be realistic, Edward," – she smiled and started kissing his neck, - "and I don't mind to simply have sex…"

They both chuckled and returned to each other's lips.

2012

"You care about me." – Alice stepped in front of him and looked him in the eyes. – "And you care about Bella, whether or not you accept it."

"I don't. Look, Alice, when I saw that girl I thought she was as faceless as the rest of them – dull, unimportant. I was intrigued by the fact I couldn't read her, but that did not make her any more interesting to me. The only appealing thing about her is her scent, her melody. Devil, I hate that scent. It takes away my right to choose, it weakens me. And so I thought maybe there's something else behind that scent. I listened, devil. I got to know her through her words spoken to others, through her actions, through her bizarre reactions to different things. She is different and to some extent interesting, but even that did not make her attractive to me. It's all in that damned scent, but it's not fooling me! After so many years I know one thing – all that matters are our instincts – lust, passion, desire, thirst, hatred, hunt… We put the mask of love on the first three of them, because it makes them look more… decent. When those instincts are really strong towards someone, we put even better mask – mate. Even if there was a destined person for me, I'd refuse her. I don't want a destined love, I want to choose who to love or hate. I accepted you, devil, as my destined…" – he paused for a moment deliberating and then continued with the trace of the smile, - "friend, but I will never accept anyone as my destined love."

"I have to believe that one day you'll change your mind, just hope it won't be too late… And wait, I'm your destined friend? Friend?" – She asked pretending to be utterly shocked.

"You are my… everything." – He smiled. – "You are the most annoying person I've ever known, but I anyway come back to you. You are the only one who understands me, even when it sounds insane. Oh, and you let me fuck you from time to time…"

Alice hit him in the ribs playfully.

"I don't let you fuck me! I just… I miss you from time to time… And what? Am I just a fuck to you?"

"Did I ever lead you to believe all I'm interested in is sex?" – He asked her rather angrily.

"Good point." – She smiled.

Edward looked at her, thinking about something.

"Have you noticed it's been more often lately?" – He asked thoughtfully and a shadow of surprise crossed her face.

After Jasper came, Edward left them for almost five years. Alice wrote to him constantly, but he kept refusing to come back. When he finally did, she was so happy and they had missed each other so much, that not even a week later they agreed to spend the evening together in the city. One thing led to another and soon they were having sex in the nearest hotel room. Edward knew she felt guilty and ashamed, but he also knew she enjoyed it too much to really regret it. As for him, he had only just met Jasper and didn't care about him at all. He did however care about Alice and decided to back away immediately if she asked him to. However, from then on, before Edward's every departure and upon his arrival, they'd find a way to stay alone together. They never arranged any of this, but they both wanted it and just made it happen. Lately, however, "one thing led to another" situations started happening much more frequently.

"Do you think he knows?" – Alice asked suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Jasper? I don't know. I think he suspects. After that night we had sex here, you know, after I met Bella, he had become really suspicious. He never thought any of this near me, but I believe he sensed it. We came back too soon, still too pleased… After that night he tried to prevent us staying alone together, remember? Did he ever ask you?"

"No."

"Would you tell him?"

"I don't know. I don't want to hurt him." – She answered sadly. It hurt to cheat on Jasper, but… Edward was Edward.

"If it's hurting you, we can stop." – He said slowly, looking at her.

"You think?" – She frowned a bit and then added. – "Could you?"

"If you asked me to."

"Would you want to stop?"

"No," – he answered at once looking directly into her eyes, but then turned his eyes to gaze past her, - "but it's really your decision. I'm not the one with the mate."

"I must be a horrible person… I don't want to stop having sex with you. What you and I have is complicated, special in many ways. I can't bring myself to think us having sex is a bad thing; it just completes what we are. It's all about acceptance, isn't it? It's all about connection… I love Jasper the way I will never love you, but I love you the way I'll never feel about Jasper."

"It surprises me though… I thought that's what you call 'mate' – the one person, who makes you complete, who fulfills your dreams in all the ways, who makes you happy and content, who is the reason why you never need anyone else."

"I don't know… I thought so too. When he came and you left, I thought I'd get over you soon. Instead with every day I missed you more. I fell in love with Jasper as I knew I would. His attention and kindness were irresistible and I soon knew I loved him, but… Well, that didn't stop me from loving you, from missing you. When you finally came back – I thought I could never be happier. So, I don't know… Maybe your mate is supposed to let you have anything you need? He's letting me have you."

"I'd like to see how he'd forbid you…" – Edward grinned.

"I don't think he would, even if he knew for sure…"

"If you were mine, I'd never allow you to have someone else." – He said thoughtfully.

"I know. Yet you never wanted me to be yours, not fully at least. We're better this way."

"That's not true." – He shook his head and Alice looked at him confused. – "It's not true that I never wanted you to be mine. I wanted you, more that I should, more than I thought I could. Still, I wanted to see you happy more. He is your happiness, not I. There was never really a choice, for any of us." – He closed his eyes.

"You wanted… to stay?" – She asked silently.

"It doesn't matter any more, devil. It worked out better than I could've hoped. You're happy and you're still important to me."

"But… You wanted to stay?" – She repeated incredulously.

"Devil, it doesn't matter." – He cut her off and then changed the subject, feeling he'd revealed too much already. – "So you think I should meet her? You think, I should break her and that dog up?"

Alice looked at him silently for a moment.

"I just want you to be happy. You are drawn to her and I believe she might make you happy. So yes, I think you should try."

"She's just a faceless girl who happened to have appealing scent…" – He said thoughtfully. – "I don't know. I guess I could say hello…"

Alice nodded silently as inexplicable jolt of jealousy shot through her.

"You should do that."

/\/\/\

Edward met Bella almost a year ago. After that first day, Edward changed his schedule to avoid having classes with her and from then he managed to evade her completely. He couldn't evade her scent – the school was full of it and everyday he had to endure. If he was honest to himself, he agreed that it was not a torture – apart from hating the fact that he was influenced by the smell, he enjoyed that scent, that melody, but his determination to stay away never faltered. Now, however, he had decided to actually talk to her, to see if she was indeed as faceless as he thought she was. The next day, after Alice had her vision, he allowed himself to 'accidentally' run into her after the lunch break as she was heading to her next class. He suddenly appeared from around the corner, startling her. Bella gasped and tripped over her own feet.

'Clumsy, indeed.' – He thought and smiled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." – He apologized in silky, soothing voice while he held her not allowing her to fall down. The scent surrounded him; the melody played louder in his head. He immediately thought it was going to be much more difficult than he had expected. Nevertheless, he continued. – "Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you." – She stuttered trying to compose herself. She felt she was blushing and knew she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. It was Edward holding her.

"You're Bella, right?" – He asked as if trying to remember her name. The girl nodded and smiled.

"And you're Edward." – This was not a question.

"Do you mind if I walk you to your class?" – He asked smiling. – "Wouldn't want you to fall…"

"I won't. But ok, I don't mind." – She smiled. This was surprising – from the first day she met Edward Cullen he was nothing but rude and ignorant, unbelievably unlikeable. He was undoubtedly gorgeous, but Bella always thought he was too arrogant, too bitter, and maybe even too sad. And now he was smiling and talking like a normal person. Well, normal but too good looking person.

"Alright, so I'll ask the question I'm sure you've been asked millions of times by now." – Edward grinned as they started walking again. – "So, how do you like Forks?"

"I don't." – Bella laughed. – "It's wet and cold and sun's barely ever shining here. I miss Phoenix sometimes…"

"Why did you move here then?" – He asked, for the first time feeling a little interested.

"My mom… She got married and her husband Phil… Well he's a minor league baseball player and he gets to travel a lot. My mom used to stay with me, but I saw she was unhappy, so I decided to move here to live with my dad."

"And now you're unhappy?"

"No." – She replied surprised. – "No, I'm alright. Charlie's great and I know my mom's ok. I just miss sun and bigger city. I mean everyone knows everything here. I hate it; you can't even sneeze without entire town thinking you got cold."

Edward laughed at this and Bella couldn't help but smile in return. His voice was beautiful and his laughter made her want to say anything he'd laugh again.

"I know what you mean. They always, always talk… And they're always, always wrong. You know, you can't even blame them or wish they'd get a life – what else is here to do? Petty problems, petty lives…"

Bella looked at him curiously.

"That's exactly what I was thinking. I mean, they're not that bad and you do get used to them after a while, but I wish I had friends who are able to let everyone else live their lives."

"Bella… Look, I was wondering for some time now… Would you want to go see a movie with me some time?"

Bella's eyes widened in surprise. Was he really asking her out?

"I'm sorry?" – She mumbled. – "Are you asking me… on a date?"

Edward's smile flashed.

"I guess I am."

"But… but… You've never even spoken to me."

"Well, I'll get a chance then. If you agree, that is."

"But…"  
"Bella, if you don't want to, it's really ok, I won't be offended or anything. I just thought maybe…"

"No, it's not that I don't want to… It's just… Well, surprising."

"Why? I mean, you're not involved with anyone, are you? I wouldn't want to get into middle of something."

"Oh… No, it's not that… You know what? I think I would like to go see a movie with you." – She smiled. This was definitely strange, but on another hand, she felt inexplicable urge to spend some time with him. This boy had intrigued her from the first time she saw him and it was nice to finally see him acting normally.

"Alright, then." – He smiled. – "Are you free tonight? I could pick you up at seven."

"Tonight?" – She had hoped she would have more time to prepare, to stress over the fact she was actually going out with Edward Cullen before the date happens, but… Well, she didn't really want to refuse. – "Yes, I think tonight's good. I'll see you at seven then."

They had finally reached the classroom. Edward nodded looking at her eyes. His lips were curved into small smile and for a moment Bella thought he might actually kiss her there and then. She felt her knees buckle a little and her cheeks redden.

"I'll see you then." – He finally whispered in a low voice, winked at her and left leaving her staring at him.

/\/\/\

After his conversation with Bella, Edward decided to run home rather than drive. He needed to clear his head and then think about what he was supposed to do now. He was going on a date with this girl. Plain, human girl who made him weak and longing and weirdly content…

As he entered the forest he realized he didn't want to go to the meadow. It had too much of Alice in it and he didn't want to think about Alice. Thinking about her hurt in too many ways and Edward couldn't bear it now. So instead he turned to the opposite direction and ran towards the river that formed the treaty line. Once there Edward found a fallen tree and sat on the ground leaning on it. He closed his eyes and tried to get rid of all the thoughts. It was silent there, nobody was around and he didn't hear a rambling of voices in his head. It was peaceful and calm and so he tried to stop thinking all together, to let that something that was tugging at his heart run free. Surprisingly, in his head he saw the day he first met Demetri.


	3. Chapter 3

**And finally, after long, long time, the newest chapter is here! :)**

**To anyone who started reading this back when I initially posted the story - thank you for returning! You're amazing!**

**For everyone - hope you like it! :)**

**WARNINGS: language, and some slashiness! Beware :)**

**As always, enjoy and let me know!**

**L.**

1955 Part I

He was shattered. That was the only word to come close to what he felt like. Shattered, broken into too many pieces. He was the vampire, the cold one, who couldn't feel the pain and yet every move hurt. Every thought was excruciating, every breath tore new holes in his shattered being. It's been over two years since he left Alice in the arms of her new mate and still he was with her with each and every thought he had. It took all the strength he had to keep himself rooted to the spot and not to run back to her and beg, yes beg, for her to take him back, to be his again. He knew why he had to stay away, his reasons did not change – he was no good for her. Alice was pure in so many ways, while he was corrupted. His hate would eventually take over her happiness and she would suffer with him. Edward would never allow this. He would never hurt her again. Never. And if this meant he had to break with every breath he took – so be it.

Edward opened his eyes as the ship finally came to the halt at the port in Livorno. 'Finally!' – he thought and took a deep breath. Pleasant scent of sea was replaced with much stronger and marginally less enjoyable smell of harbor. The journey was not very long, but at the same time it was agonizingly long.

As Edward stepped off the ship he felt there was another vampire around. It didn't bother him much, but out of sheer habit he focused on the stranger. As always, he firstly heard his thoughts. 'Come out, come out, where ever you are!'- he heard a male voice taunt. Edward narrowed his eyes and found him in the crowd of people welcoming the travelers.

The man he saw seemed to be in his late twenties, although of course he was much older than that. He was tall, almost as tall as Edward. He had striking features – high cheek bones, angular jaw, and deep dark burgundy eyes. His hair was jet black and long enough to form curls. His skin was olive toned. Even in his black cloak he seemed muscular and strong.

In spite of his looks, it was his mind that caught Edward's attention. The man was absolutely carefree; he was doing what he loved the most – tracking someone and it made him happy. There was no worry in his mind, no unease, and for Edward to be in his head was an unexpected relief.

The man's eyes finally spotted Edward and he grinned at him coming closer.

"I'm Demetri." – He said out stretching his hand for a shake. – "It's nice to finally see you."

"Finally?" – Edward asked cocking his eyebrow and shaking the man's hand. – "I had no idea I was expected."

As Edward's skin touched Demetri's he felt a slight tingle running up his arm. This was shocking – only Alice was ever able to make him feel it. 'Alice…" – his thoughts trailed, but were interrupted by Demetri's stunned stutter in his head. 'Wow… what was that? Uhm… Wow…' But then he pulled himself together and answered.

"Everyone of our kind to come so close to Volterra is greeted. We have certain rules. I'm sure you know that."

"I am not here to cause troubles. I wish to be left be." – Edward replied calmly although he was very intrigued. This man had felt it too. How odd!

"I'm happy to hear that, Mr. Cullen. I'm sure you'll love it here." – He smiled. – "However, I am here also in the name of Aro to invite you to our home in Volterra. Aro is excited to meet you in person, having heard so much about you and your family."

Edward growled internally. He really didn't want to go to Volterra, but on another hand – what had he expected? He knew Aro would be interested in him. How could he not be, having such a similar gift to his own? His thoughts were once again interrupted by Demetri's.

'Those eyes! They're golden, just as he said… And, damn they're disturbing! I could stare at them for ages…'

Edward looked at him curiously. His sullen mood lifted a little. This man was amusing, to say the least.

"Mr. Demetri, do you know what my ability is?" – He asked with a trace of a smile.

"No, I don't." – He answered surprised. It was a bit of a leap in conversation. – "I don't see what it has to do with anything."

"Well, for the very least it explains why Aro wishes to see me." – Edward replied calmly. – "I'm a mind reader, Mr. Demetri. I can read your mind."

Demetri stiffened visibly. 'Oh, shit!' – He thought. – 'He heard what I just thought about his eyes! Ahh, no, stop thinking about those eyes! Arghhh! For crying out loud!'

"Mr. Demetri," – Edward began amused, - "I will go to Volterra, but seeing, or rather hearing your distress, I can assure you I can find my way alone."

"No! I mean… Crap! Let's just start once again, alright? Thank you for alerting me about your abilities, I will keep that in mind. Also, I'll try to keep my mind as silent as possible, even though right now it might seem to you a rambling mess I'm usually quite peaceful in my head. And also, don't call me mister, nobody does."

Unexpectedly to himself, Edward felt his lips twitch with a smile.

"Alright, let's start again. Please call me Edward." He extended his hand once again.

Demetri smiled broadly and grabbed Edward's hand. Yet again he felt a tingle climb up his arm and stir in his chest. 'Holy crap! Is this his gift? It's so… overwhelming! Shit! I'm doing it again! Sorry…'

"It's ok. It takes getting used to. I'll try to focus on someone else instead of you." – Edward replied slowly, still feeling the tingle in his hand. 'Holy crap indeed!'

"Lead the way, Demetri."

On the journey to Volterra, Demetri kept his part of the deal and managed to stay silent while they both ran through the woods towards the city. He offered to drive, but having spent so long on the ship, Edward wanted to run. Besides, he needed to feed. Volterra will undoubtedly offer its rather peculiar temptations, including feasts of human blood and Edward wanted to be as ready as possible to resist the urges. Edward felt Demetri's curiosity as he watched him hunting and feeding. Demetri was fascinated with the way Edward moved. The gracefulness and liquidity of his moves captivated the gaze, yet something else attracted him even more. Running Edward was completely different from the man he met in the harbor – he was free and almost happy. Harbor Edward was, to say the least, sad. He was the vampire, but he looked like simple human in his sadness – shoulders hunched as if from the invisible weight, the body stiff and eyes darting quickly, not looking at anything in particular. This running and hunting Edward was beautiful. He was focused on the prey and nothing else and that made him free and careless and yes, beautiful. To Demetri, hunting Edward was the paragon of a vampire, superior being in every way possible. So he couldn't understand why someone like Edward would ever choose animal blood over human! Human blood was the epitaph of pleasure – it was life itself in its purest form, so to succumb to something so repugnant just to save a human was absurd. To Demetri humans existed to satisfy his needs and nothing more. Those ignorant, self centered beings were not worthy of anything else so Cullen's refusal to kill them seemed like not only a great weakness, but also a great stupidity.

"It's not a stupidity, Demetri. My father chose this life as the only possible way of living with the hand he was dealt. You think humans are self centered? Your arrogance has no boundaries. You believe your way of living is the only right one, when in fact you can't even form a family! You are almost a thousand years old and not once did you have a family of your own. You call Volturi your family? One of your coven members has the gift of strengthening relationships and that's the main reasons you do not stray. My family has a relationship worth not only abstaining but actually dying for! And here you stand and judge me for not succumbing to the life without meaning…"

"You have no right to speak ill of my coven!" – Demetri growled.

"Nor have you to judge my way of living!" – Edward felt the anger rush through him. Such a familiar sensation. He was angry almost all the time. He glared at Demetri. – "I have not requested your company; I can find my way to Volterra without a guide. Go! Let me be!'

"You are a guest of Aro." – Demetri said slowly, trying to master his anger. – "I shall not harm you now, but should you ever insult my coven again, I will not stop until I see your pieces burning."

"Don't make the promises you cannot keep, Demetri." – Edward whispered silently and turned away from the older vampire. His anger still flared in the back of his mind, but the despair was crawling back slowly but surely taking over any other emotion. How he would like to just stop being! This was not a life. He's been dead for a long time and yet he could not bring himself to make the final move, to provoke the Volturi so they'd kill him once and for all. Alice would know. She would be hurt, she would be in pain over his death and that was something he couldn't allow. He knew she would blame herself and this was not the legacy he was willing to leave her with. 'Later…' – he thought, - 'when it no longer matters to her…'

"What the hell is wrong with you?" – Demetri growled behind him. – "You're a vampire, for crying out loud! You are superior in any way possible! Why do you act as if you're mere human?"

"Because I wish I was!" – Edward shouted desperately. – "I wish I had a choice! I wish I had died when I was supposed to!"

With that Edward turned away from Demetri and broke into a blurring run. The pain he felt threatened to incapacitate him, but he knew he already shared too much and so he had to get away. He couldn't allow himself to stay and reveal even more to this absolute stranger who was also in Volturi coven. He focused all his energy to the run and soon felt his already impressive speed increased even more. Never in his life has he run so fast and despite of his despair, it didn't fail to excite him. Running was his nature – the monster in him loved this sensation and so he gave into it completely.

By the time he was midway to Volterra, his strained mind relaxed enough for him to be able to think clearly. He had to pull himself together or run the opposite way. He couldn't show up on Aro's doorstep feeling like he did right now. Of course Aro would know anyway – as soon as he touched Edward all his secrets would be revealed – but still he couldn't let Aro know how much he still hurt over Alice. His feelings were absolutely private and no one had the right to know about them

Yet, for the reasons he couldn't now grasp, he allowed Demetri glimpse into his own personal hell! How could have he let this happen? Then again, he knew how – his anger often took the better of him and so he allowed this lapse to happen. Besides, this man was so easy to be around that somehow it just slipped. He would not allow it again! He would go to Volterra, meet them and then get the hell out of there before any such lapse happens. He didn't want the company anyway, and Volturi's company was something he wanted even less.

By the time he had reached Volterra, Edward managed to pull himself together completely. A cold stupor took over his usually chaotic mind. Lately Edward has noticed his own ability to sort of shut down – his whole mind narrowed down to a single focused point and all the noise around him subsided into soft hum. He knew what he had to do and was fully focused to do it right. As he approached the castle where Volturi kept permanent residence for many centuries, he was greeted by two guards.

"Mister Cullen," – one of them said nodding, - "Aro is expecting you. Where is Demetri?"

"Behind." – Edward replied curtly. – "I'm sure he'll find the way. Isn't he a tracker after all?"

The guard gave him a quizzical look but decided against questioning him further. "I will show you the way, Mr. Cullen."

As Edward was entering Aro's chamber, Demetri finally joined him. "You run like mad…" – he muttered under his breath.

"Wait here, Aro will attend to you shortly." – The guard said closing the door behind him.

Edward sighed heavily and turned to face the tracker. – "Demetri," – he said slowly. – "I'd like to apologize for my behavior earlier. I let my temper get the better of me. I ought not to have spoken ill about your coven. It doesn't concern me and I should have understood and accepted your interest in my way of life for what it was – mere interest."

Demetri looked at him curiously. This man had some sort of fascination over him. His manner of speech, his way of life and even his temper taunted and interested Demetri. The man in front of him was unhappy, that was obvious, but apart of being just that, unhappy, Edward was also lost in many ways. But strong. Yes, the strength of this man radiated from him and made it hard to believe something had the power to hurt him as much as it did. Demetri himself had always been a cheerful sort of person. He loved his life and didn't ponder too much of what he was doing or what he was. So the creature in front of him, so unlike him, interested him to no end.

"It's fine." – He finally said and smiled. – "I might have overreacted a tad as well."

"Alright. I don't wish to make enemies upon my arrival."

"Do you wish to make them at all?" – He grinned.

"I can't say I care enough." – Edward answered seriously. – "All I really want is to be left alone, that's all."

"Hmm, you sure made a strange choice coming here. I mean of all places you come to the place of dwelling of the biggest coven."

"You're right, you know…" – Edward mused. – "Must be fucking subconscious telling me something."

Demetri roared with laughter.

"Why don't you listen to it? Might be surprised by what you learn. Perhaps you'll join our coven?"

"Well if that's what the freakin' thing's suggesting then tough luck. I'll never join Volturi."

"Ah… You're breaking my heart." – An exasperated voice echoed from the far end of the room. Edward snapped his head towards it and saw Aro coming in with Marcus and Caius close by, almost touching him. – "Alas, I never expected it to be easy. Carlisle has a track record of the stubbornness I have never witnessed before; I could just expect his family to show the same attitude."

"Aro." – Edward nods. – "My words were not meant as an insult. To each his own – Volterra is not my place."

"No, I see you believe that. It could be though, I would be happy to welcome you to my home."

"Thank you, that is very kind of you."

'Ah, but of course you do not wish to be part of this coven." – He said sadly, but behind this sadness Edward was sure he felt disappointment that was more to do with not getting what he wants rather than sadness. At that moment Aro finally approached and extended his hand to Edward. The gesture so familiar to all and yet it held the promise of intrusion, revulsion even. Edward took a deep breath and shook Aro's hand.

The memories flooded him – his pain of becoming a vampire, his resentment, his anger, his thirst… And then even worse – his love, his lust, his pain, his jealousy. It all ran through him, finishing with the latest memories of Demetri and the wondering sensation of touching him.

"Perhaps I can interest you in staying for just a while?" – Aro asked releasing Edward's hand. His mind was curiously blank. – "I saw you're not in a hurry to return…"

Edward grinded his teeth at that. The memories of Alice were no longer just his.

"I can't think of what I would do here, Aro." – Edward said flatly and heard Caius hiss.

"Calm, brother." – Aro soothed. – "I know Carlisle's recollections of this place have tinted your understanding of it. I wish us to be friends. There are not too many of our kind and we should not fight between ourselves. I wish you could appreciate the home we have created."

"It's not my place." – Edward repeated.

"And yet you seem not to have a place right now. Why don't you stay for a while? Demetri could show you our ways."

'What? I? Why?' – Edward heard Demetri mutter in his head. So this was not usual. Strange.

"I don't think Demetri would like that." – He said finally. Aro looked at Demetri questioningly.

"No, no, I would. Of course I would. I can show you around." – He said at once and Edward smirked.

'You're a jerk, you know!' – Demetri thought forcefully and Edward smiled to himself, then sighed and looked at Aro.

"Alright, I will stay for some time. Thank you for welcoming me to your home, I'm sure Demetri will make my stay interesting."

Aro laughed at that and gave Edward a look that Edward supposed was meant to be congenial – one mind reader to the other. Edward thought it was plain creepy.

"Welcome, Edward." – He said finally and then turned to Demetri. – "He can rest in your wing, Demetri. I think the room next to yours is currently unoccupied?"

Demetri nodded.

"Good. I must excuse myself, Edward. We have the feast coming, I'm sure you wouldn't like to be part of that…"

"No." – Edward said at once and then turned to Demetri. – "Lead the way."

"So you're staying." – Demetri said when they reached the room that was to be occupied by Edward.

"It certainly seems so." – He nodded and looked around. – "Fancy."

"Yes, our home is really… Well, as you say, fancy." – The older man smiled.

"I don't really need you to show me around." – Edward said suddenly. He felt the familiar fatigue take over. He just wanted to be alone.

"Nonsense. I said I'd do it and I intend to do it."

Edward looked at the tracker with blank eyes.

"I prefer to be alone."

"Yeah, yeah, you've said it already." – He agreed dismissively. – "But you're Aro's guest and I have my orders, so man up, I'll show you around."

"Man up?" – Edward asked with the hint of amusement.

"Yeah, well you're mopping and it's getting on my nerves. Come on, relax a little and have fun!"

Now Edward looked at him curiously. His presence was such a relief – distraction from Edward's ever present pain and resentment.

"You're very easy to be around, you know? For someone with my affliction."

"Affliction? Damn, it's a gift many would kill for!"

"Would you?" – He asked suddenly, still staring at him curiously, his eyes intent, blackening slightly despite feeding hours ago. – "Do you think it's a gift?"

"Um… I better say it out loud or you'll hear it anyway – you should really stop looking at people this way – it kind of makes me blabber in my head the things I'd rather not…"

Edward blinked startled and then dropped his gaze.

"I apologize." – He muttered.

"Nah, it's ok, I just… Well, you might hear something you don't like, so I'm telling you now."

"Thanks for the heads up." – Edward smiled slightly and looked at him again. Against his better judgment he was intrigued. This tracker was amusing to say the least.

Demetri laughed. – "Heads up you say? You mean you'll continue staring at me?"

"I have been told I sometimes do that. It's unintentional." – He cocked his eyebrow and added. - "Usually."

Edward then shook his head to clear his mind and pull himself together. This easy small talk was messing with his head – he didn't want to chat really, all he wanted was to be alone. It didn't seem to be an option right now.

"So, Demetri, what's next? Since you insist on babysitting me, what are we going to do?"

"Why don't we go to the grounds? I can show you the castle after the sunrise, but now we can go for a stride outside."

"Alright. Lead the way." – He agreed and smiled surprised as Demetri broke into an easy run. It was obvious he was not in a hurry, he simply ran for the sheer pleasure of running and Edward joined him at once. Running was exciting and easy; primal even.

'You like running, don't you?' – Edward heard Demetri think at him. – 'Well, let's run then!'

"My type of sightseeing!" – The younger vampire mused and smiled hearing the tracker laugh freely.

They ran for a long time, never needing to slow down or catch a breath. There was no race, Demetri already knew Edward would outrun him, so they simply ran together, enjoying the feeling. In the same time, Demetri showed him around – the gardens, the lakes, the forest, the ruins of old temple – everything blurring past them, but their sharp vision catching and storing all the sights in their fast brains.

When finally Demetri stopped, they were far away from Volterra.

"There." – He said pointing at the shack stooped low in the valley. – "This is our boundary, here our land ends. This shack is the last guarding post."

"It's empty."

"We're not at war." – He explained simply. – "The guards are only here when we're at war."

"How long ago was that?"

"A while." – He said and Edward raised his eyebrow.

"How old are you?"

"Old."

"And yet you haven't lost the joy of life." – Edward said silently. – "How is that?"

"I just like what I am, what my life is."

"It surprises me. I hate being the vampire."

"You overthink things, I assume. You're making it complicated, when it's really not. I am what I am and I'm damn good at it!" – He laughed and Edward couldn't help but smile at that. It was so easy to be around him, addictive even. – "You should relax a little, you know? Just let go of all that anger and see the life for it is."

"My life is the anger." – Edward muttered. He felt self conscious speaking about this with near stranger, but at the same time it kind of felt alright.

"It doesn't have to be. You choose it to be about anger. I choose it to be about joy and happiness and all the things that excite me."

"Really? And how do you do that?" – He asked a tad sarcastically.

"Well, look at me! You're sulking since I met you and yet I'm not affected by it. I know something happened to you and it's your business, but I'm not going to go there. I choose to run with you, because I already saw it excites you. It's really about small things – instead of fixating on whatever it is you're fixating, why don't you just acknowledge we're actually having a good time?"

"I'm here, am I not?"

"Should I take it it's the best form of appraisal?" – Demetri laughed. – "If you get bored or something, you'll just go away?"

"It's likely." – Edward agreed and the corners of his mouth twitched with a smile he tried to suppress.

At that Demetri slumped to the ground and tugged on Edward's arm to join him. Again the jolt of electricity like energy ran through his arm. He looked curiously at his hand holding Edwards arm and didn't let go.

"What is that?" – He asked and snapped his head up to look Edward in the eye. And still he didn't let go.

"I'm not sure…" – He said slowly, staring at Demetri wide eyed. And again his eyes started darkening.

'Oh shit, those eyes… ' – a fleeting thought and then a sharper one, - 'it's attraction!'

Edward pulled his arm away abruptly and took a step back.

"Shit!" – Demetri growled. – "I'm sorry… But you really shouldn't look at me that way, you know!"

"I'm sorry?" – Edward said perplexed. A question more than a statement really.

The tracker rolled his eyes.

"Let's just forget it, ok? I'll behave if you behave."

"What is it you're saying exactly?" – Edward asked.

"Do I need to spell it?" – He sighed. – "Shit! Alright – when you stare at me that way I kind of… You know… I'm kind of attracted to you!"

"Attracted to me?" – He said in disbelief.

"Yes!" – He growled and then rolled his eyes again. – "Surely you heard about the fact that men sometimes are attracted to other men? I mean how old are you? And what rock did you climb under from?"

At this Edwards gaze sharpened with anger.

"Why don't you save the condescending attitude to someone else?" – He hissed. – "You surprised me, that's all. And I am rarely surprised to tell you the truth."

"Ok, ok, nothing to get hot under the collar for. Sorry, it's just surprising for me too."

"What? That you could be attracted to me?" – He asked angrily with the ironical and bitter smile on his face.

"No." – He said flatly and jumped from the ground to face Edward. – "Although now you mentioned it, it's really unlike me to be attracted to someone with your temper!"

"Fine. I don't need your attraction." – He said dismissively.

"This!" – Demetri hissed then raised his hand and grabbed the back of Edward's neck. At once a tingle shot through both of them. They stared into each other's eyes feeling the warmth spread from the point of their contact. To Edward it crawled down his spine, coiling around each of his vertebra, warming him, while to Demetri it slithered up his arm to his shoulder, his neck. Instinctively, Demetri pulled Edward closer to him, reeling in the feeling of warmth and energy. Edward's eyes were almost black now, with the slightest hint of golden in them and they bore relentlessly into the tracker's fiery red orbs. Demetri sucked in a ragged breath but there was not a single thought on his mind, he was entranced in this sensation of something he wasn't able to name just then. And still he was pulling him closer, tugging at him until there were mere inches separating their faces.

"No!" – Edward hissed suddenly and pulled back harshly, breaking their contact. – "Don't touch me again!"

Demetri looked as if he had hit him. He flinched slightly, but then shook his head.

"Fine. It won't happen again." – He said flatly. – "I'm sorry, I got carried away."

"Don't do it again." – Edward repeated.

"Fine." – Demetri hissed. – "I think we should go back. The sunrise is close."

Again he broke into the run, but it didn't bear the enjoyment of earlier that night. They just ran and all the while Demetri tried to keep his mind blank or think of something of no importance. Just before they reached Volterra, Edward, who was running behind him suddenly stopped and said:

"I don't know what that is."

Demetri stopped at once too, but had to jog back to reach Edward.

"What?"

"I don't know what that is." – He repeated. – "That feeling. I can feel it too, but I don't know why. It's probably me doing that, but I don't know why or how."

"How do you know it's you?"

"I experienced it already."

"Really?" – The tracker looked at him curiously. – "Does it always happen when someone touches you?"

"No. You are the second person that does that."

"Well, it is probably you, because it never happened to me before."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? No harm done, no hard feelings." – Demetri smiled.

"For snapping at you. It's my fault and yet I was angry with you."

"Your fault? Come on! You're seriously overthinking stuff. Relax, we're good."

"Good." – Edward smiled a little. – "Thanks for the tour."

"What do you mean?" – Demetri grinned wickedly. – "We're just getting started. You didn't really think we were done?"  
"I kind of did. And anyway, I really want to be alone for a while. Is that ok with you?"

"Sure, sure. I should probably check on Felix anyway, he'll think I bailed on him." – He wondered unfazed. – "You'll find your way to your room, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good. I'll see you later then. Find me when you want company again, alright?"

"Yes, thanks again."

"No worries and for love whatever deity you believe in – stop thinking so much. You're kind of ok, when you relax a bit!"

Edward smiled at that. First real and easy smile in a long time.

"I'll try to vegetate."

"That'd do you good, Edward." – He laughed and then added before going away. – "See you later."


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, so here goes the second part of the flashback :)**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think, L.**

1955 Part II

"So? What did you think of them?" – Demetri asked smiling slightly. He had just shown Edward the dungeons and he already knew he hated them. In the month since Edward came to Volterra, he learned to notice those small things that betrayed his guest's mood or opinion very well. Demetri had spent almost the entire time with Edward – they went for the runs together, they strode through the town together, he would even accompany him on his hunts, although the smell of animal blood disgusted him to no end. They also went to the library together – Aro had such an impressive collection of books that Edward positively gaped with his jaw open when he first saw it. He loved books – always had and probably always will and while he spent hours reading all the things he wanted to but never got the chance, he also recommended some books to Demetri. The tracker had never been bookish per se, but Edward's enthusiasm towards books was infectious and he had given up finally trying some of his recommendations. They spent hours and hours there – usually from dawn till the early twilight – reading and discussing and more often than not arguing about something they have read. Demetri's optimistic and cheerful attitude clashed with Edward's brooding one so much, they usually ended up in heated discussions. That was one of the other things Demetri learned about the vampire – he was both passionate and really short tempered. Despite himself, he actually liked both of these traits.

The only time they actually parted was when Demetri had to feed or had to track someone for his coven. And again, Edward spent that time alone in the library. This night however, Demetri persuaded him to go for a stroll through the dungeons, but almost immediately he saw the younger vampire grow even more morose than usual, so he convinced him to go for a run through the grounds again. They ran for a long time, racing from time to time and then falling back to the slower jog. Finally they reached the last guard post again – the place they liked to run to quite often as it offered the solitude they both needed from the always full castle. Demetri lied on the ground, his arms under his head, staring at the stars. Edward sat beside him and watched the sky as well.

"It's… I don't want to offend you." – He said flatly. And he really didn't, so it was better to keep his thoughts of the dungeons and the whole Volterra world to himself. Instead Demetri just laughed out loud.

"Come on! I'm no mind reader, but really, your face when you saw the dungeons left little to imagination!"

"I don't really understand why this amuses you. Those dungeons… They're appalling."

"Why?"

"You surprise me, you know?" – Edward suddenly sidetracked. – "Your mind is so peaceful, so joyous and yet…"  
"And yet what?" – He asked curiously propping himself up on the elbow.

"You fail to see the suffering, the pain and the despair etched into those walls down there. How can you not see it? How can you not feel it?"

"Why do you care? I mean, honestly! You're a vampire!"

"I don't want to be a monster, Demetri."

"But you are! Why do you fight it? I mean look at me – I couldn't care less about what happened to the people there. They were food, nothing else."

"They were people." – Edward sighed. – "Don't get me wrong – I don't have a childish or romantic understanding of how wonderful it is to be a fucking human. I know their minds – mostly they're foul and greedy and filthy. But how am I not the same? How are you not the same?"

"Yeah, but come on – double standards! I mean I don't have to be ashamed for being greedy or foul or downright filthy, because I am a monster! I'm a killer and I don't care about them – they're nothing but the prey."

"You are a monster." – He said calmly, but with no condemnation in his voice.

"And so are you."

"Except that I don't want to be."

"Yes, and that's why you're always miserable and a pain in the back side!"

Edward felt the twinge of irritation at that, but it was offset by amusement.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't care."

"Yeah, that would be good for you." – Demetri grinned at him. – "I know I've told you this already, but really, just relax a bit."

"It's not that easy…"

"Yes it is! Come on, lie down and look up." – He ordered quickly, but seeing Edward hesitate shook his head in exasperation. – "Honestly! I'm not going to bite you! I'll show you the constellations – they always calm me down."

Edward looked at him for a moment longer and then lied down. A moment later Demetri was lying next to him, careful not to touch him. Edward made it perfectly clear he didn't like to be touched.

"Look, you see up there – that's the constellation almost everyone know –Ursa Major. It looks kind of like a wheel barrel, you see? Or a ladle. And then if you draw a line up there, you'll see the tip of the Ursa Minor. Back in the day Ursa Minor stars were known as Hesperides, the daughters of Greek god Atlas. Ursa Major was used as a main pointer towards North, so that the sailors would find their ways through the sea."

"How do you know that?" – Edward asked still looking at the stars.

"I used to sail." – Demetri mused and Edward turned to him and asked the question he had asked couple of times before.

"How old are you?"

"Old." – He replied as he always did, smiling slightly and staring at Edwards eyes. It hit him that they were very close to each other now and that despite the month of keeping his distance he still thought the man in front of him was fascinating.

"You shouldn't think so." – Edward said slowly, but he didn't drop his gaze nor did he pull away.

"No? I think I can decide for myself what I should think."

"You don't know me."

"I know enough." – He raised his hand and moved it tentatively towards Edward's face. Still the younger vampire didn't pull back and Demetri brushed his fingers lightly across his jaw. They both felt tingle run through them and Edward sucked in a ragged breath. And the split second later he was standing ten feet away, shaking his head. Demetri dropped back on his back and closed his eyes.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't touch you, fine." – He said sighing. – "I'm sorry, you distracted me, that's all."

"It's fine." – Edward hissed silently.

"No it's not fine. Look, I know you don't want… Oh, shit. I'm ok with being your friend, you know?"

"You think we're friends?"

"We could be. If you weren't such a pain in my ass!"

"Fuck you!" – Edward glared at him.

"Yeah, we'll that's not on the menu, now is it?" – He laughed suddenly and despite himself Edward joined in, his mood lifting unexpectedly. – "That temper of yours will get you into trouble one of these days, you know that, right?"

"You don't seem to mind too much."

"Yeah, but I'm a ray of sunshine!"

Edward laughed again.

"Then I assume I'll stick to you."

"Well, you better not flare that temper at Caius, he's really very short tempered himself… Marcus would probably ignore you, like he does with the rest of us and Aro… Well he likes you a lot."

"You do know I'm not going to stay, right?"  
"Why?"

"It's not my place."

"And where is your place?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"It's about a woman, isn't it? Your brooding, I mean. I only ever seen men be like that for women."

"Demetri, I don't want to talk about that." – He growled angrily.

"Fine, but if you're not with her, then you probably have no place. Why is this any worse than others?"

"Is this why you put up with me? Did Aro ask you to convince me?" – He asked suddenly, his eyes glaring with anger, his jaw set.

"You're an idiot!" – Demetri growled and before he could stop himself he thought: 'how on Earth am I attracted to this fool?'.

"I have no idea, but I really don't need your attraction!"

"You said that already, ok?! It's not like I chose this! And if we're on it – you don't particularly try to avoid me, now do you? And those fucking stares you give me!" – He was shouting now, his anger finally flaring.

"Fine! I'll leave – wouldn't want to be a pain in your ass anyway!"

Demetri growled at that. Furious, wild sound that had nothing human in it and before Edward could react to it, he was shoved back against the tree and Demetri was kissing him fiercely, mercilessly. His iron grip was holding him in place while his unexpectedly soft lips and eager tongue were moving against Edward's mouth. That sensation of energy and pleasure coursed through them and on pure instinct Edward opened his mouth invitingly. Their tongues clashed, fighting each other but at the same time caressing each other. The fight for dominance was replaced with exploring movements of tongues and lips and Demetri's grip loosened. His arms wrapped around Edward's waist and he slid his fingers up and down his back, feeling each muscle and pressing them together. Demetri licked his bottom lip and sucked on the corner of Edward's mouth, eliciting a soft moan from him.

'Oh shit, it's fucking amazing! He tastes so…' – And now Demetri was moaning silently into Edward's mouth. – 'I want him, I fucking want him…'

At that instance Edward seemed to snap out of it and he shoved the tracker away harshly.

"No." – He hissed breathless. – "Don't you fucking touch me again!"

Demetri stared at him for a moment longer, disoriented.

"You didn't seem to mind a moment ago." – He muttered.

"I told you not to touch me again and I mean it!"

"Yeah, yeah, you mean it!" – Demetri growled. – "Except did you also mean it when you moaned into my mouth?"

"You caught me by surprise, that's all!"

"Whatever makes you tick." – He sighed. – "Though no idea why you should lie to yourself. You fucking liked it."

"I didn't."

"Really? And the wood in your pants is just that – a wood?"

"Fuck you!"

"Gladly, want to join?"

Edward stared at him for few moments before muttering:

"This is over now. I'm leaving."

"Why? Because I kissed you and you fucking liked it?" – Demetri shouted.

"No, because I thought we could possibly be friends and it's clear now we really can't."

"What is wrong with you? I mean really – what the fuck is wrong with you? I'd understand if you simply didn't like it – that's fine, this just wouldn't be your plate. But you're so obviously into me! You stare at me all the time! And that freaking sensation when I touch you! Why do you pull away all the time?"

"Because I don't want this! I don't want this! I don't want to like it! I don't fucking want to like you! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

"Yeah, you and your loneliness…" – There was no fight in Demetri anymore, so he just moved closer to Edward, invading his personal space again. – "Listen Edward, I really like you. I mean really. It's surprising to me, but fuck it, I just like you. If you don't want that, then I guess too bad for me. I do want to be your friend though… I guess what I'm trying to say is… Stay, ok? Just, stay."

"I can't stay…" – He said desperately.

"Why?" – Demetri was too close again.

"Because I think I might fucking like you…" – He muttered and rested his forehead against the tracker's. – "And I really, really can't like you."

"Why?" – He repeated holding his breath.

Edward pulled away again and composed himself.

"Because liking is not… How did you put it? It's not my plate."

"Because I'm a man?"

"No, because you're not somebody else."

"So it is a woman… You're in love. Why are you here then? Why aren't you with her?"

"Because she isn't mine to love." – He whispered and flinched painfully. Usually being with Demetri dulled the pain, but thinking of Alice… It was still agony. Edward gritted his teeth and tried to clear his mind. – "Now you know."

"So you mean you always overthink stuff, right?" – Demetri sighed. – "What the hell does that mean – she's not mine to love? She's married or something?"

Again the irritation flared, but Edward still tried to compose himself.

"Or something."

"You're so complicated for such a young being!" – He rolled his eyes.

"For your information, I'm over fifty years old!"

'Exactly! Such a complicated child…" – He grinned and Edward allowed to be sidetracked.

"How old are you?"

"Old."

"Are you ever going to tell me?"

"Why would you want to know?"

"I'm curious." – His lips twitched with the shadow of the smile.

"I'll tell you what – I will tell you how old I am when I think you're ready for this."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, for one – it means you're not ready now."

"Hmm… You're playing games."

"Yes, and like I said – you fucking like it!"

Edward laughed and then cocked his eyebrow when Demetri thought the sound of his laughter was alluring.

"What? I did tell you I like you, didn't I?"

"You shouldn't."

"Why don't you leave that for me to decide?"

"Fine. Anyway, I think I should leave now."

"No." – He shook his head at once. – "No, don't leave. I'll behave."

Edward sighed and looked up at the sky again. Being with Demetri was so easy. It lifted his mood considerably and most of all, it made him forget his loss and longing for a while. But he couldn't get involved in this. He just couldn't. Alice was the only one he ever allowed to be close to him and it really didn't end well. He knew it wouldn't, but he had no idea it would hurt that much. Alice was his greatest weakness and he sure as hell wouldn't allow someone else to get so deep under his skin. But at the same time, he really didn't want to leave. He liked spending time with Demetri, he liked the hours they spent in library, he liked running with him, racing him and always winning, he liked how Demetri cursed about it but seemed content anyway. All in all, this was the first time since Alice that he felt almost alright and he really didn't want to lose this.

"You're overthinking, you fool." – Demetri grinned after a while as Edward still didn't speak. – "Why don't you just stay? I mean, if you stop staring at me with those blackening eyes, I probably won't kiss you again!"

Edward laughed.

"Friends, ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, friends." – The tracker agreed and laughed. – "And really, what friends don't kiss each other or have occasional sex?"

"Demetri!" – He roared with laughter.

"What? I'm just saying… Anyway, come back here, I'll show you Orion."

"I think we had enough star gazing for one night, wouldn't you say?"

"Hmm, the experience was nothing but pleasant to me…" – He grinned again. – "Really, just relax, I won't bite you."

"You said that already."

"And I didn't lie – I might have licked your mouth a little, but I really didn't bite you. Yet."

Edward sighed again.

"Demetri, I'm serious. I don't want anything beyond friendship. I like you and I really like spending time with you, but I'm not looking for anything else. I want this much to be clear between us – I don't want anything else. If that's a problem I'll understand. It's really fine if you want to stop spending time with me. I think I overstayed anyway – I'm sure Aro's invitation was not meant to extend this long."

Demetri regarded him for a long while then finally said:

"You're so fucking stubborn, you know? You could be actually happy here, but you cling to whatever it is in your past, to all that misery you're in… Fine, ok. Nothing, except friendship, unless you change your mind and you ask for more. Good enough?"

"You're sure?"

"Yeah… You're still the pain in my ass!" – He growled but then smiled. – "Teenagers!"

"Hey! I'm fifty fucking four!"

"As I said – teenagers! Plus you sure as hell look young."

"Yes, well Carlisle turned me when I was seventeen, so no wonder. How old were you?"

"Nice try – I'm saying nothing about my age!" – He laughed.

"And I'm the stubborn one?" – Edward rolled his eyes.

"At least I'm the fun one."

"So, funny man, what do you want to do now?"

"I'd like to stay here for a while, but I think you should go hunting really…"

"Why?"

"The feast… There's a feast tomorrow. It's a holiday in Volterra and there will be a lot of tourist, so Caius ordered a feast."

Edward frowned at that. This was one of the reasons why he would never stay in Volterra – those feasts were horrendous. And the easy way Demetri spoke of them reminded him once again how different they really were.

"Come on…" – The tracker started, but Edward shook his head.

"No, don't say anything else. I hate it! I hate how fine you are with that… that slaughter!"

"Edward…"

"No, just stop it! I don't want to hear anything about it. I'm just going to go, I can't be here tomorrow."

"Hey, come on! You can't leave because of that! I mean, just feed today and you'll be fine."

Edward looked at him, his despair and revulsion changing to the glare of anger.

"Do you realize, I can hear what they think? Do you understand, I hear their every plea, I see their horror in realization of their own death? Do you understand how fucking hard it is for me to just sit still and do nothing while your coven feeds? I truly hate you at that time, I despise you! You, who I actually like any other time…"

"Look… How about I leave with you? We can go to Napoli for couple of days, what do you say?"

"What? Why?" – Edward stared at him perplexed, but then tried to compose himself to ask the proper question. – "I mean, don't you want to stay for that fucking feast?"

"Nah, you ruined that for me."

"How? When?"

"Just now, you fool. I don't want you to hate or despise me… Maybe it is a little grotesque, from where you stand."

"Its grotesque from the fucking moon!"

"Fine. So do you want a company or not?"

"You keep surprising me. I mean you just go with it – no planning, no forewarning, just make up as you go."

"No use of being a mind reader, right?" – He grinned. – "You learn this when you live with Aro for as long as I have. I don't have secret thoughts or hidden agendas, because he'd know them anyway, so I just do what I please."

"And won't they need you here?"

"No, Felix will cover for me. It's really ok as long as you want me to come with you."

"Yeah, sure. Of course I want you to come, that'd be nice." – He smiled one of his rare, bright smiles.

'Oh my… The things I'd do for you to smile this way…'

"Hey, focus!"

"Sorry… But really, you should smile more often, it suits you."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Ok, let's go then. I have to swing by the castle to let them know I'll be leaving with you."

"And you think Aro's going to be fine with that?"

"Yeah, like I said, he likes you."

"You mean he wants me to be all cozy here and so he gives me you?"

Demetri grinned. – "If only it would be so easy to make you all cozy…"

"I don't hear you denying it."

"I'm not. I think he wants you to stay here for as long as you would and somehow he thinks I can make you do that."

"And what about you then? You're stuck with me for a month now… Did he even ask what you want?"

"No, it's not like him to ask… And after you flared that temper of yours at me, I was not too happy to play host to you, but hey, despite of you being the pain in my ass, I'm not really complaining, am I?"

"It sucks that you have to do what they ask you to."

"Really? You do the same. If Carlisle asked you to do something, wouldn't you?"

"No, probably not. I might, but only if I felt like it…" – His thoughts drifted back to his family. He was telling the truth – he wouldn't do anything he didn't want to do. Unless it was Alice asking. He'd do anything for her, fucking anything. But then again – Carlisle would never ask him to do anything he didn't want to. – "It sucks anyway. I never wanted to impose myself on you."

"Come on! You coming here turned out to be a lot of fun for me. I'm not denying you sometimes drive me crazy with your mood swings, but you're ok and I like spending time with you."

"Yeah, well, what choice do you have?"

"Will you stop it? We're ok!" – He rolled his eyes. – 'Drama queen!'

"Hey!"

"Hey what? Don't read my mind, if you don't want to hear something you might not like."

"It's not as if I have a choice… Anyway, you tell me if you want to get rid of me, ok? I'm serious – if you ever want your free time back, just let me know."

"Fine. Can we go now? We've got to get you out of here before the… guests start coming in."

Edward growled at that, but Demetri simply nudged him with his shoulder.

"Run! Maybe I'll beat you this time!" – He laughed and broke into the run. Edward gave him couple of seconds head start, not for the first time thinking how easy it was to be with him. Demetri meant no drama, no pain and no despair. It was way too easy to like him and once again Edward reminded himself he had to be careful or he'd lose it and really, he couldn't afford to lose it again… He shook his head and broke into dizzying run.


End file.
